Please do not try these ideas in reality..its just a fun peice...and as cat owners will know...not that far from the truth anyway...........

.HOW TO GIVE A CAT A PILL. ........
1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position the right forefinger and thumb on either side of the cats mouth and gently apply pressure while holding the pill in the right hand. As cat opens mouth pop the pill into the mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2) retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3) retrieve cat from bedroom floor and throw soggy pill away.
4)Take new pill out, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly this time with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of 10.
5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse in from the garden.
6) Kneel on floor with cat firmly wedged between the knees. Hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get souse to hold the cats head firmly while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cats throat vigorously.
7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill. Make note to buy a new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth for glueing later.
8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw. Force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9)Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans. Drink one beer to take taste away. Apply bandade to spouses forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10) Retrieve cat from neighbours shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with desert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11) Fetch screwdriver and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Throw shredded t shirt away and fetch fresh one from bedroom. 12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve the bloody cat from tree accross the road. Apologise to neighbour who crashed while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill out.
13) Tie the little buggers front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of table. Find heavy duty gloves from shed . Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head and pour water down throat to wash pill down.
14) Consume the remainder of whiskey. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room. Wait for doctor to stitch finger and forearm and remove pill remnants from eye. Call in at furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15) Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and ring pet shop to see of the have any hamsters!!
HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL.....Wrap it in bacon!!!!!